by Anonymous
I have a nearly overpowering fear of abandoned/deserted structures and landmarks, i.e., malls, amusement parks, drive-in movie screens, etc. The only thing I can attribute this to is a dream I had when I was a child where a giant movie-sized gorilla appeared out of this blank drive-in screen and tried to snatch me out of my grandmother's house (about age 6). Several years ago I visited a mall I had shopped at frequently in Nashville TN, years before only to find it completely deserted except for a Chik-Fil-A and a Macy's. My husband was with me or I probably would've had to be committed. I could not get out of there fast enough, it looked like a good place for a mass murder (if anybody except for us had been there).
I can't explain the feeling I had, my whole body went numb, I had the most awful anxiety I have ever had and terrible feelings of dread came over my body in waves. I was attached at the hip to my husband for several hours. I cannot even pass an old drive-in screen (or a functional one in the daylight for that matter) without shutting my eyes or if I'm driving turning my head the other way for several miles until I am sure I'm past it. The same feelings of dread overwhelm me during this.
Today, I came across (by accident) a website about abandoned amusement parks, complete with pictures and I nearly became unglued with the same feelings I described, numbness to my whole body, smothering anxiety and complete terror. I actually considered leaving work to be with my husband. The odd thing is if I see a website like this, it's almost like seeing a dead body - you look, then you look away in horror, but you want to look again. Why do I have this paralyzing fear? What is wrong with me? I am very normal by societal standards in every other way. Here's hoping you can shed some light on this. Thank you very much.
Comments for Strange Irrational Fears
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