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Relationships

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How long is the healing period after a person ends a marriage engagement? In terms of being ready for another relationship?

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starstarstarstarstar 		Post Divorce Healing
by: Anonymous

For each person the time is different (6 months or more). Its always best to reclaim yourself so that you are fair to the person in the new relationship. If not your new relationship will be stagnated because you expect perfection from the new.The new person will not be given a fair chance to make this work with you. She/he is not faultless. If you don't allow for healing and growth from the past you will always drag these issues around with you. If you haven't healed from a long term marriage that zapped your self esteem, took away your indiviuality, creativity and trust, and never allowed you to be yourself, rediscover before taking this to someone else. Life is too short to waste a lifetime on self discovery based on what we allow others to do to us. You go into a new relationship with all of these unresolved issues you will start to victimize your new friend. Why would you do that to she/he? What if for whatever reason this person doesn't reveal something to you about her/his past(nothing criminal or bad) and you find out later. Of all of the positive attributes this new person brings into your life you can only focus the fact that he never told you. This is a distrust issue that was brought from the marriage and you were waiting for her/him to demonstrate this distrust episode. Therefore, you miss all there is and begin to major in minors. Eventhough she/he apologizes you are still stuck and cannot move on to the bigger and better things life has to offer. Don't allow your past to destroy the bright future you are to have with your new mate.

Life itself is a gamble. You will know when you are ready. If something is to happen we must step out on faith and trust.Please know this, if your new friend/ new relationship is with one who is willing to work at the relationship, will admit fault, demonstrates resiliency, loves you,loves himself/herself (no narcissm) understands you, doesn't see you as inferior but one with a voice and talents, wants to aid in your growth and be a help mate,only wants the best for you and looks out for you, also wants you to be yourself You should do the same for her/him. Healing and reclaiming yourself will allow you to do this. He/she probably observes qualities in you that you never knew were a part of you. Don't sweat the small stuff nor do we want to major in minors. All Homo sapiens make mistakes.
Heal, reclaim,claim and go and get that person who loves you in spite of whatever. True love is very rare. Does the person have a job?

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