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Psychology of Talking

by Anonymous

Photo Credit: Xavier Encinas

I know someone who is 10 years who talks a lot when he is in his house, but doesn't say a word in school; I mean not even a sound. He doesn't even talk to his sisters in school, but will talk with all his relatives at home. This has been going on for about 4 years. What should we do?

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Build his confidence
by: Anonymous

Hi,

As far I've studies psychology, I can confidently say there's nothing seriously wrong with your son. So, take heart. There can be some reasons for such behaviors like he's too shy, has an introvert nature, etc.

You, as a parent, can do a lot for him to overcome this and change his behavior at this childhood stage itself.

First make sure that you never criticize or nag him. Encourage him constantly in all small stuffs to bigger things he accomplish and build his confidence. ( Self-Confidence, which he lacks can only be built by encouragement)

Encourage him to join a social club or ask him if he wants to learn guitar, or tennis or swimming and make him join such classes,where he can meet people with similar interests.

Talk to him, take him out whenever you're going out like for shopping, etc. Give him maximum exposure to outside world.

In Short, all you've to do is build up his confident and make him feel important.

Thanks!

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Selective mutism
by:

Not speaking in certain social situations (in this case, at school) is an actual disorder, which is called selective mutism. You can read about it at this site, for example: http://www.selectivemutism.org/faq.

I am aware that another poster has described his own experience as growing out of it over time. But if my understanding of your question is right, it seems to me that in this boy's case, you can't simply wait for him to start talking.

How can he be successful at school when he cannot answer his teachers or do team work with his classmates? From what I've read, it also seems that selective mutism is often accompagnied by anxiety disorders. I think you should ask a psychologist who has experience with selective mutism for help.

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Talking - home and school
by: Anonymous

Frankly, I don't see a psychological problem with it. As a young child, I was frequently asked if I was mute - people legitimately wondered.

Now I am sixteen and I am completely fine - not exactly crazy outgoing, but I do talk to friends and parents and teachers when I like. It may just be that your son is shy and prefers not to talk to people he doesn't know. There's nothing wrong with that.

If you are truly concerned, you might try asking him about it or thinking back to any incident, no matter how small which may have halted his interaction with 'strangers,' and if you fail to come up with anything, again, ask him. Most likely he will grow out of it in time, provided he has a comfortable social environment at home to model from.

Best of luck.

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Confidence Issues
by: Anonymous

Hello there,

I'm no expert in psychology, but perhaps he has confidence issues. Does he feel comfortable at home? You need to build a good base at home for him to feel comfortable to explore outside. Encourage him to bring home friends and things too, maybe that'd make him feel safer talking to non-relatives outside. How does he behave when he's at other people's houses?

I know this didn't help much but maybe these questions will give you a direction to think in.

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