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Psychological Intolerance

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My relative can be nice, but like her sister (who I married) they have zero tolerance to anything said that may sound remotely like criticism. They both become extremely aggressive. I must state that they are twins and their mother has exactly the same tendencies.

For example my wife and I were staying at her sisters house and the "change filter" light came on the AC. So I bought one and did it. When the sister found out instead of thanking me, she went red faced and became angry as if I has just broken her best dish.

From being passive she shouted comments like "it didn't need changing","I wait for weeks after that light comes on","it won't make any difference" she also said she did not believe us and that it wasn't dirty, even though she saw the change filter light flashing.

Why didn't she just say "Thanks for doing it?".

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Psychological Intolerance
by: Rhasheeda Davis

Well there is a stage created by Erik Erickson and it is called Integrity vs. Despair. The older you get, the more you look back at the things that you never got to do. Maybe your sister was never in charge when she was younger. Although she, her twin sister, and her mom are somewhat alike, maybe she was the one who was not in charge as much as her sister and mom. She might be letting it all out now, because her feelings were so bottled up then, as a child. Now that she is an adult, she may feel as if she can do anything; she may feel as if she is on top of the world and her mom and sister can't tell her what to do now. This stage is mainly for late adulthood, but the stages DO overlap.

Another reason, she might not have said thank you could be because maybe she felt offended when you changed the filter.

Hope this helps!!!!! :)

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I'll take my ball and go home.
by: Thomas

that's a control issue. she feels undermined.

emotional skills are just that, skills. not everyone learns them.

except her as she is, and let her feel in control in her own home.

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