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No Anger At All

by Mike Hardy
(Merritt Island, FL)

Photo Credit: Frits Ahlefeldt-Laurvig

I'm 26 and despite being picked on and such when I was in school, somehow I have managed to show no anger towards anyone at all. I don't let it ball up inside or anything, but I don't show it either.

I actually have two questions on this. First, why am I unable to be angry, even when I have the right to be. And second, could it mean there is something wrong with me if I don't express any anger whatsoever?

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I feel you man
by: Anonymous

I feel the same way.

its like they can abuse you but you can just calmly take it. and it only begins to hurt hours after the fact. I think we have a high tolerance for pain and anger. which is a good thing.

I think why we dont do anything is because we never had to do anything about it in the past. it is easier to let the issue go than pay them back.

I have every ability to pay them back an eye for an eye. Im 6'4" and very fit. but my heart is soft and wrestle with the idea of defending myself.

I guess I would get angry if I saw another person getting beat up or somthing. but otherwise i could care less if it was me.

I dont think it is an self-esteem issue but more of a personality trait because you have to think about your self alot to get angry at another person. If you are like me and think of others than it removes the focus of the attack from you and instead I pity the other person.

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Mistaking anger for something else
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I think the question to determine whether any psychological phenomenon is a problem is "Does it cause problems for you or the people around you?". It might be possible that someone just never feels anger and everything is allright. Maybe this person does not get angry because he can forgive other people their faults.

But in the way you describe it - never having been angry from childhood on - it doesn't sound likely to me that you actually feel no anger. Looking back to my earlier self, I realize that in my case, I often unconciously replaced anger with sadness. I noticed only this sadness, but the anger was, in fact, not gone. It just expressed itself more subtly, as resentment towards others and sometimes feelings of superiority. Now I am ashamed about my arrogance back then.

Maybe you mistake your anger for something else, too, while it is affecting your thoughts and behaviour unnoticed.

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